Watchmen

There are many unexplainable things in the universe; the big bang, dark matter, black holes and the production, distribution and consumption of the film Watchmen (2009).

Adapted from the graphic novel of the same name, Watchmen attempts to massage all comic book nerd's brains in a motion picture of a well-loved book. Not being an uber- fan of the series myself, I was unsure of what to expect of the film. I hoped I would be subjected to some light action/adventure super hero fun that would neither demand my entire attention nor bore me to tears. Instead, I got a movie so deprived of any logical plot progression it almost hurt. The first half consists of essentially, talking. Granted the opening title sequence seemed promising, with a decent soundtrack and historical attention to detail, but that quickly deteriorated into people in costumes having a good chat.

The narrative seemed to take a dramatic turn around the time of one particularly repulsive and insulting sex scene, when the Disbelief Train hit Gore Town with a quick stop off at Garish City. Limbs were then severed, blood splattered and the blue guy named Doctor Manhattan seemed to get decidedly more naked. Now, this may have been forgivable (although probably not) if any of the story had actually made sense. But it didn't. The ending was so confusing the characters might as well have started a round of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. At least that would have been entertaining.

All in all, a film that might delight previous graphic novel fans but otherwise remains pointless and juvenile to anyone else. Sorry Zack Snyder, I'm afraid it's 2 Stars from me.