Watchmen

There are many unexplainable things in the universe; the big bang, dark matter, black holes and the production, distribution and consumption of the film Watchmen (2009).

Adapted from the graphic novel of the same name, Watchmen attempts to massage all comic book nerd's brains in a motion picture of a well-loved book. Not being an uber- fan of the series myself, I was unsure of what to expect of the film. I hoped I would be subjected to some light action/adventure super hero fun that would neither demand my entire attention nor bore me to tears. Instead, I got a movie so deprived of any logical plot progression it almost hurt. The first half consists of essentially, talking. Granted the opening title sequence seemed promising, with a decent soundtrack and historical attention to detail, but that quickly deteriorated into people in costumes having a good chat.

The narrative seemed to take a dramatic turn around the time of one particularly repulsive and insulting sex scene, when the Disbelief Train hit Gore Town with a quick stop off at Garish City. Limbs were then severed, blood splattered and the blue guy named Doctor Manhattan seemed to get decidedly more naked. Now, this may have been forgivable (although probably not) if any of the story had actually made sense. But it didn't. The ending was so confusing the characters might as well have started a round of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. At least that would have been entertaining.

All in all, a film that might delight previous graphic novel fans but otherwise remains pointless and juvenile to anyone else. Sorry Zack Snyder, I'm afraid it's 2 Stars from me.

Moon

Moon (2009) is Duncan Jones's directing debut, who decided to write a sci-fi movie solely for actor and friend, Sam Rockwell. The story-line is simple but at the same time intricately complex in the ideas it conjures up. Astronaut, Sam Bell has been working on the moon with the help of computer GERTY (voiced by Kevin Spacey) to mine a new energy resource which he continually sends back to Earth. His three year contract is nearly up but two weeks before he is to be sent home, there is an accident involving a moon buggy and one of the harvesters. After this shake up, strange things begin to happen and Sam finds himself with a confrontation that leaves him to question his own sanity.

The film represents feelings of claustrophobia, confinement, limitation and insanity. Sam is forced to look at himself through different facets of his personality, becoming aware of just what he is capable of. The movie is contained through its use of essentially, one giant set that was constructed to replicate the exact living space of the astronaut. Also, because of the small budget, only a few special effects are used and most of the scenes which are on the surface of the moon were achieved through models. This gives a weightless feel to objects that would usually contain a lot of density; something that is realistic to the lunar atmosphere. The most credit has to go to the acting of Sam Rockwell, who carries the entire film by himself and manages to show audiences that he is capable of displaying shifts in a person's disposition.

Despite the film being a definite salute in the direction of Stanley Kubrick's Space Odyssey, the movie can still be enjoyed by anyone simply interested in psychological thrillers and the human condition. Personally, I believe the film was successful in being a beautiful yet unnerving look at the stability of one's own character and life. I give it 4 Stars for being a moving masterpiece.

Clash of the Titans

Clash of the Titans- the tale of Perseus, son of God and general big mac, Zeus, who embarks on a journey of revenge and protection of the city Argos (yeah, yeah "Good job, I ordered a toaster from there" and other such puns) from the rather nasty beast The Kraken, son of Hades. To do so, he must retrieve the stone-turning abilities of one Medusa and her many tete snake chums.

Questions can be asked such as, "How are Medusa's rockin' eyes still able to work with the head decapitated from the body?" And also, "If Kraken is Hades' offspring, who the hell is the moma?!" But these are merely linked to the Greek story itself and not the film. Perhaps we shall never know the answers, or perhaps I could just pick up a book once in a while.

The great thing about modern technology (and more specifically CGI) is that practically anything that the mind can conjure nowadays, can be replicated in 'touch it, it's real!' visual graphics. The Clash of the Titans is a perfect example of this as it is a classic Greek tale from start to finish with no need of side-stepping the story due to the fact that scenery and monsters are practically impossible to recreate realistically without the use of computers. Overall, this is the best quality of the film, the fact that the entire story can be told how it was written. Character- wise, I was especially fond of the fact that Zeus (Liam Neeson) wasn't instantly labeled as 'the good guy' as he himself, had tricked Hades (Ralph Fiennes) in the beginning.

However, the movie did contain a couple of rather unnecessary let downs. The first being Sam Worthington, who's portrayal of Perseus wasn't particularly bad, just down-right boring. Audiences are more likely to connect emotionally with a cardboard cutout of a bowl of porridge than Worthington. Also, the 3D element was clearly a last-minute decision and because of this, there is essentially no need to be wearing the glasses.

All things considered, the story is timeless and director Louis Leterrier clearly had oodles of visual fun making it. I give it, 3 Stars

Remember Me

I won't lie to you. If asked the reason for wanting to go see Remember Me at the cinema I will have to admit "... Robert Pattinson's face." But you really can't blame me. The boy has been told he's attractive so repeatedly for so long now that he has, in effect, become 'attractive'. As a noun. "I am not sexy, I am sex" or something similar. And I have to say, I wasn't disappointed by just how much of Bobby's swagger they managed to squash into the film. He has a sexual aura on screen similar to that of a cougar, James Dean and a jazz saxophone combined.

But now onto a more serious subject, the actual film itself. I admit that after a while, I began to buy into the stumbling romance and opportunistic life values of the film. Even with the perhaps annoyingly kooky 'I eat my dessert before my dinner' token lead female (Emilie de Ravin), or the inevitable 'deep' conversation between the couple who try to 'out-death' each other with nasty stories of deceased relatives.

All this could have been forgiven, if it were not for the frankly offensive ending. I won't give much away, but in my eyes, using a terrible (and real) disaster in order to shake up the ending a little is not something that should be considered appropriate. Apparently, director Allen Coulter was fishing for socially relevant brownie points and a way to make the narrative end on a truly depressing 'your life's actually quite pointless' statement.

I give this 2 Stars for a film that could have been mediocre, but turned out more of a disaster than the subject it ended on.

Avatar

Avatar... Where do you bloody begin with Avatar? So I went to see it (probably a good idea, what with me now reviewing it) and I must say it was very nice. I know what you're thinking 'Julia, where's the formality? Where's the professionalism? It's as if you can't be arsed..!' well, you would be right, avid reader. I can't do a serious review on Avatar because it's so flippin' big that it's beyond reviewing. It's beyond anything. I can't actually form propper sentences in order to describe it. Bleh. Ya see?

Okay so really, there's only two things I can say about it (and I am leaving it at two because you start on three and before you know it you're writing a 15,000 word essay when you really should be doing coursework.. heh) The first 'thing' if you will (told you I couldn't be bothered) is:

1. I know, you know, Santa knows that the story just isn't up to scratch. (santa..? I must be hungry, I'm writing like a moron) The plot's been done so many times that when you try to think of all those times it leaves a similar sensation as when you try to ponder about the universe or imagine a very large number of things (education is going well, thanks for asking). The story of Avatar can be simply described as a cross between Fern Gully and Pocahontas. But hey, I'm not complaining as I'm sure most 90's kids won't.

2. Point numero dos (go me) is that actually, it's very pretty. I mean REALLY pretty. When it finished I practically clung onto my chair because I didn't want to leave the amazing world of Pandora. The effects are truly gorgeous and even though I'm not usually one to go and see a movie on effects alone, I would definitely recommend this to anyone. The world that Cameron has created is one of complete realism because every nuance of his living earth is individual and yet related somehow (like the breathing holes in every animal and the fact they all seem to have three sets of legs). So just go see it. That's more of a command than a request. If you don't see it on the big screen in 3D then you really are missing out. Time for me to find some food I think, to restore a bit of sanity.

New Moon

Yes, I know. And no, I’m not going to scream obscenities if you don’t like it. To be honest, I’m not THAT much of a fan myself. But what can you expect? The Twilight saga is sweeping everyone up in its colossal mudslide of domination, whether you blumin’ like it or not! And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, teenage girls being encouraged to get to grips with their sexual selves and all. But that’s for a more feminist blog, and I digress. The second film hath arrived! Which means even more hype than the first (doesn’t seem possible does it?) As you can tell by scrolling down, I have not reviewed the first film. There are many reasons for this, the main being, it was rubbish. I think many can agree that it was a very standard depiction of the book; it knew it would get fans either way and so didn’t seem to try at all. But this time around, there’s a new director in town, Chris Weitz and lo and behold, he’s done quite a splendid job!

As a film lover, you become accustomed to the idea of having to sometimes sit through not-very-good films, its part of the process (especially if you’re quite a picky film lover). So imagine my surprise when the very first shot of the film is one, very large, very absorbing, orange moon that stares you straight in the face. This moon then begins to peel back, agonisingly slowly, to reveal the title ‘New Moon’ and immediately, you can’t help but think quite enthusiastically ‘THIS is more like it!’. The acting, as to be expected, is fairly bog-standard, but not annoyingly so. The whole film seems much more rich and magical than its senior in the sense of its colour and effects. The wolves especially work very well, for example when Bella first glimpses one of the beasts and all that can be seen are two fierce eyes accompanied by a frosty breath in the dark which looks about as real as you could get. What also pulls the movie up to a much more respectable notch is the impressive and mesmerising sound track, which has a delectable fistful of atmospheric tunes that work perfectly in sync with each other or individually on their own. Listening to the much-acclaimed album is a dream-like experience that hypnotises and sums up the tone of the film brilliantly.

Obviously, the series isn’t a masterpiece. But would it really be as successful if it was? I’m pretty sure it’s the simply written books and love/danger filled themes that attract the teenage audience and not all the hidden meanings (because we all know there’s so many of them). And yes, maybe the whole Twilight shebang SHOULD be more sophisticated but really, who are we kidding? Sexy and dangerous vampires? A hot werewolf that wants to be more than just friends? An identifiable female lead? All this included in read-in-a-day books? No wonder there’s screaming teens at premiers with ‘bite me Edward’ scrawled on their faces. All I can say is, at least Weitz has attempted to include more than just the smitten fans in his audience, and make it enjoyable even for those not wearing fangs to the cinema.